Alone
by People Person I'm Not
Summary: Set after Bo5A. What is the sun without a shadow?
1. Chapter 1

**So...yeah. This is depressing, and I'm really sorry. It just wouldn't leave me alone until I'd written it. It's a lot shorter than I'd hoped... It will be multi-chap, but my real life is crazy, so while I'll update as often as I can, I can't promise any semblance of regularity. Enjoy, I suppose, and please review, even if only to complain/cry...**

* * *

Fili blinked, grimacing as the bright light hit his eyes. He tried to shield his eyes, but his body screamed in pain and he stopped moving and closed his eyes.

"Oin, he's up," said a voice Fili vaguely recognized, though he couldn't place it.

A gentle touch made Fili's eyes snap open. Oin looked down at him in concern, a wet rag in his hand. To Fili's relief, Oin's placement blocked the majority of the light, dimming it to an amount Fili could tolerate.

"How do you feel?" Oin asked gently.

Fili thought for a moment. "Not too bad, as long as I don't move. What happened, exactly?"

Oin shrugged. "I don't know; I didn't see it. I just know that you were hurt, and I was needed to care for you. Now, sleep, my prince. It will help your body to heal."

Fili, slipping back into the black world of sleep, didn't think on Oin's words—"my prince." No one ever called him or Kili that.

* * *

_The sun beat down hotly on the armies—men, dwarves, elves, orcs, goblins. Everywhere the boys looked there were more people, as it were, both friend and foe. They were all armed, swords dripping blood._

_The injured lay where they fell, no one daring to stop long enough to help them, thus risking their own lives. The casualties—and fatalities—racked up, the field stained with blood._

_Kili fired arrow after arrow, always hitting his mark. Fili protected both himself and his brother, taking every caution to keep the pair of them safe._

_Fili swore as a sword slipped past his guard. Kili turned, eyes wide, as Fili fell, world fading to black._

* * *

Fili woke with a shout, sitting bolt upright. Oin rushed over to his patient, gently easing his back to the bed. Fili shivered as the cool air struck his torso, bare but of bandages.

"Kili?" he asked, eyes wide.

"In another tent," Oin soothed.

"Can I see him?" Fili asked.

"Not now, laddie," came another voice. Fili turned to see Balin standing there, flanked by Dwalin. "You need your rest."

"But I just woke up," Fili complained. Balin crossed the tent to Fili. "If you wish to heal, my prince, you must rest."

Fili locked eyes with Balin. "Oin called me that, and now you, too. 'My prince.' Why? You've never called me that before."

Balin sighed heavily. "We have reclaimed Erebor. You have to remember that you are a member of the royal family."

Fili sighed. "Once my uncle has been crowned, will things change for Kili and I?"

Balin looked down. "Yes, laddie…"

"Can I _please_ go see Kili?" Fili begged again, hopong he would be allowed to this time.

Oin looked at Balin. "Tonight, if it's okay with you."

Balin dipped his head, then left the tent.

* * *

That evening Fili struggled into a shirt and boots, wearing them over the still muddy breeches he had worn since before the battle. With Oin's help he crossed the pell-mell arrangement of tents on the flanks of the mountain. When they reached the tent that Fili had been told Kili was in, Oin carefully led Fili in, and then stood back.

Fili looked around the tent. In it were two beds, one that held Kili, the other holding Thorin.

Fili looked at Oin and Balin, confused. "Why were they kept together, but I was alone?"

Oin looked down, and Fili crossed the room to where his brother lay.

Kili's face was calm and still, and Fili gently brushed a thumb over his brother's jaw before turning to his uncle.

Thorin was as still as Kili, though marked with a long gash down one cheek.

"Why isn't he bandaged?" Fili asked Oin, who still didn't answer.

Fili looked back to Kili, then slid the down blankets covering the dark-haired dwarf. Kili still wore his armor and bloodstained tunic. Fili furrowed his brow, then returned to Thorin. Uncovering him, he discovered that the King Under the Mountain was dressed much the same as his youngest nephew.

Fili sat on the edge of the bed Kili lay on, confused. Oin had clearly taken such good care of him—why hadn't he done the same for Thorin and Kili?

Suddenly, Fili knew. He knew for sure why Oin hadn't cared for Thorin and Kili.

It was a stroke of luck that Fili was already seated, or else he would've collapsed. As it was, he crumpled, bracing his upper body on his legs, praying to whatever gods there were—though at the moment he wasn't too inclined to believe in them—to help him regain his strength.

"Mahal," Fili breathed. "I'm all alone."


	2. Chapter 2

**So this was going to be longer, but I felt as if where I stopped was a good place to do so. The next chapter, then, is Fili's coronation, which would be a lot better if he had...yeah, no. Stop, me. Thanks to IfixD, Arkenshield, Cockapoo, and Neocolai for reviewing. I am so far very pleased with the feedback I've gotten...**

* * *

Fili had had a shadow for almost his whole life, since he was too young to remember otherwise. He had always been the sun, golden haired as he was, followed everywhere by a dark headed shadow. But what was the sun without a shadow?

Everywhere he went, Fili searched for Kili. He automatically made jokes that the two of them shared, then froze in shock as he remembered that there was no one to laugh. The slightest hint of dark hair or a head thrown back in a roaring laugh made Fili stop and look around for Kili.

The entire company mourned both the loss of their leader and his youngest nephew, but as more dwarves arrived at Erebor, they had to pull themselves out of their revery of sorrow and help restore the Kingdom Under the Mountain to its former glory. The only one who couldn't pull himself together enough to help was Fili.

As Fili sat alone in his tent one evening as darkness fell, the flap opened. At the rush of cool air, Fili spoke. "Go. I do not wish to see anyone."

The voice that replied was decidedly feminine. "I have lost my remaining brother and one son. It would seem I'm losing my other son as well."

Fili rose and turned, facing his mother. "I...don't know what to do. How to go one without Kili. We were never apart. I remember when he had the chicken pox and Uncle Thorin had to lock me in his room to keep me away from Kili. When I started weapons training and Kili wasn't even allowed in the room because it was too dangerous, the fits he would pitch."

Dis half-grinned. "He used to bite Thorin and I when we tried to separate you two."

Fili returned the grin as best he could, but then his face fell again.

Dis came and sat beside Fili. "I also have some more serious matters to discuss with you. Balin asked me to speak with you on this... You know your uncle will not be claiming his throne; he can't. Nor is he-or Kili-yet buried. We want a king to help bury him." Fili looked blankly at his mother, and Dis sighed. "Your uncle never had children of his own, Fili. You and Kili were his closest male relatives. You are now the King Under the Mountain."

* * *

Common sense dictated the burials of Thorin and Kili had to take place as soon as possible. And so the funerals took place before Fili's coronation.

Fili stood with Balin and Dis, watching the two people he most loved lie there so still, looking, but for their wounds, if they were just asleep.

Balin stepped up first. "I have known Thorin Oakenshield since we were in Erebor the first time. He was a noble dwarf and an excellent leader. He led us this far, and took back the mountain from Smaug before falling. And his nephew Kili was a fine dwarf as well, a strong fighter, always one of the first into battle. He was a good lad, and will be missed."

Fili stepped forward. "Kili was more than that. Yes, he was a great fighter, but he was also a joker. He was only serious when he absolutely had to be. I should know; we were always together. We had no secrets from one another. He was my shadow." Fili had planned to say more, on both his brother and his uncle, but his voice failed him and he stepped down.

After Fili spoke, it was time to bury Thorin and Kili. Thorin was bore by Balin, Dwalin, Gloin, and Dori; Fili carried Kili alone, glaring at anyone, even Dis, who offered to help.

When they reached the deep cave where Thorin and Kili would be laid to rest they were arranged gracefully on stone slabs and everyone backed out of the cave. Before anyone could start placing the stones to seal the cave, Fili darted forward, a stone in his hand. He laid it upon Thorin's breast, and everyone could see that it was none other than the Arkenstone. Fili laid one gentle kiss to Kili's brow, then backed out of the cave.

As the stones were carefully placed, filling the entryway, Fili felt as alone as he ever had, even more so then when he had realized the others were dead.


	3. Chapter 3

**I swear I _want_ to write longer chapters, I just...can't. These need to be short and sweet. Well, not s****o sweet, but you know what I mean. To my lovely reviewers-Neocolai, Kyoiku kanji, winter's-lion, wardog85, AutumnSapphire9, Cockapoo, and livin-la-vidaloki-d-I don't know if I should feel good or terrible. I mean, I'm wreaking havoc on your emotions, but at the same time that means it must be kinda well written...I hope... I'm not the best judge of my own work. Either way, I apologize profusely. The end of this chapter almost made me cry, so...yeah. Enjoy, I suppose.**

* * *

Fili stood in front of Balin, trying to hide his nerves. Balin held in his hands the heavy ceremonial crown of the Kings Under the Mountain, preparing to crown Fili as one of their line. All the dwarves of Erebor were standing in the room below the dais on which Fili stood with Balin, and Fili could feel nerves coiling like snakes in his stomach. What made it worse was that it should have been Thorin up there. Thorin, who, Fili was sure, would not feel the trepidation present in his nephew. Thorin was—had been—a natural-born leader, one who had led his people to a new life after Erebor fell.

Fili didn't realize Balin had been speaking until a heavy hand fell on his shoulder. "You all right, laddie?" the white-haired dwarf asked kindly.

Fili nodded slightly, and Balin repeated what he had said earlier—"Do you, Fili, son of Mim, promise to uphold the honor of the kingdom of Erebor?"

"I do," Fili replied, his voice surprisingly steady.

"Do you promise to rule faithfully and wisely, to the best of your ability?"

"I do."

They proceeded in the same manner through the rest of the ceremony. Finally, Balin said, "I declare you an heir of Durin, Fili son of Mim,' and placed the crown on Fili's head.

The crowd erupted into cheers, and Fili forced a smile.

* * *

That night Fili sat on his bed, his new crown on the table in front of him. He sat and looked at it, and despaired of all it symbolized. He and Kili had never been princes. They had been in name, to be sure, but living in exile as they had, they had never played the part. They had always been warriors, first and foremost. Fili wondered now if Thorin had merely been training them to help reclaim the mountain, nothing more. If that was so, he should have also been training the boys as princes. But, Fili had to admit, Thorin had never thought that far into the future. All he had ever spoken of was the mountain, their home. There had been no doubt in his heart that he would live to reclaim it, and _then_ he would've groomed his sister-sons as heirs to the line of Durin.

With a groan Fili lay back across his bed, already completely overwhelmed by his new position. He was not prepared to take over, and while he knew he would have the help of excellent advisors like Balin, the majority of the burden still fell on his shoulders, and his alone.

Fili's eyes fluttered slowly shut.

_The door to Fili's room creaked open, and Fili sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked up to see who dare disturb the new king, and froze. His brother stood there in front of him, grin plastered across his face._

"_Kee?" Fili asked hesitantly, and Kili nodded._

"_Of course," he said happily, and fell onto the bed beside his brother._

"_But you're…dead." Fili felt he had to point this out, yet regretted the words the instant he said them. Kili's face fell, and he curled into himself as he had when they were children._

"_Yes," he replied slowly. "I am no longer of the realm of the living. But that does not mean I'm gone, Fee. I will be here for you. All you need to do is close your eyes."_

Fili jerked awake with a start. He felt warmth running into his beard, and when he raised his hand to his cheek it came away wet. The dream-Kili had seemed so real, so…_Kili_. It made Fili miss his shadow even more.


	4. Chapter 4

**And the plot thickens! Thanks to Cockapoo, winter's-lion, and Lord Draxus Hellborne for reviewing. Special thanks to Neocolai both for reviewing and for lending me the Original Muse. It is much appreciated, and I think the Muse got in its fair share of emotional drama...I think. I guess, then, I have to tell you to feed the Muse. It helps me out...unfortunately for you all...**

* * *

Fili lay in his bed, curled into himself. He had dreamed of Kili every night that week, and it never got any easier. Every time he woke crying, missing his brother, his shadow.

A knock on the door of his chambers forced Fili to uncurl and pad across the room. When Fili yanked the door open, he saw Balin standing there.

Balin seemed unfazed by the fact that Fili stood there in his nightclothes. "A...situation had arisen, my king, that requires your attention immediately."

"Just let me get dressed..." Fili said, and started to close his door.

"Immediately, laddie," Balin said, face drawn.

* * *

Fili rushed after Balin, barefoot and in a loose linen tunic and trousers. As he started to recognize the paths they were on, Fili grabbed his white-haired advisor. "Balin, what is going on? Why are we going this way?"

Balin bit his lip but didn't reply, moving off again.

When Balin finally stopped. Fili was white. They stood outside the caves in which Thorin and Kili had been buried...and the stones sealing the entrances were gone.

"What happened?" Fili asked, voice hoarse.

"Someone broke in, the Arkenstone is gone," Balin said.

"I don't care about the Arkenstone!" Fili snapped.

Balin looked at Fili. "Of course."

Fili stormed past Balin and entered the tombs worriedly. The sealed caves had prevented decomposition, and Kili and Thorin looked as they had when they had been buried three weeks earlier. They were no longer neatly laid on their biers, laying instead on the floor of the cave, limbs pellmell.

Fili just stared at what was left of his uncle and brother, lying where they had been so carelessly thrown. Kili's dark hair pooled around his head, and Fili gently smoothed it down, cradling his brother's head in his lap. He couldn't believe someone would desecrate Kili's grave like this.

Someone in front of Fili cleared their throat, and he looked up. His mother stood there, eyes glistening with unshed tears. Dis knelt and gathered both her sons in her arms, murmuring incoherently.

"I...buried him once," Fili said brokenly. "That was hard enough. To bury him again..." He leaned his head on Dis' shoulder, shaking with tears. Dis cradled her only living son, rocking him gently.

Balin entered the tomb, followed by Dwalin and Gloin. They carefully lifted Thorin, laying him softly on the bier he had laid on before, arranging his limbs and smoothing back his hair.

Fili glanced at his uncle. Thorin looked every inch the king he should have been. Every inch the king Fili couldn't be.

"Laddie," Balin said gently, "we need to go now. Lay your brother back to rest. Holding onto him will not bring him back."

Knowing Balin was right, Fili slowly laid Kili down. Dis was waiting for Fili outside the tomb, and hugged him wordlessly.

The other dwarves were looking at Fili, and he realized with a slight shock that they were waiting for him to tell them what to do. He was the king.

"Um...post a guard here. If someone disturbed them once, there is nothing to say that they won't do it again."

Balin nodded, looking pleased, and Fili realized that he had made his first official decision-first order-as King Under the Mountain.


	5. Chapter 5

**So, this chapter's _really_ short. Emotional, though...at least to me. Didn't want to spoil the "cute" mother/son moment by adding too much more. Much thanks to Neocolai, Cockapoo, and wardog85 for their kind reviews :)**

* * *

Fili sat on his bed, still in shock. The theft of the Arkenstone was nothing compared to the desecration of Thorin and Kili's graves. He knew that the theft was more important for the nation, but as emotions overrode his reason he could barely think of that.

A gentle knock came on the door, and it was pushed open. Dis stuck her head around the door, peering at her son. "Fili..."

"Go away," Fili muttered. He was not in the mood to talk to anyone, least of all his mother.

Dis, however, could not be deterred. "Fili. Erebor needs you. You can_not_ sit and sulk. You are a king-you do not have that luxury. Thorin and Kili would not want-"

Quick as a flash Fili rounded on his mother. "Mum. Don't use their names to get me to do what you want!" he yelled, trying so hard to hide the tears in his eyes. It was to no avail, however-to try and hide emotion of that nature from Dis was folly.

Dis wrapped her arms around Fili. "I wasn't. I'm just reminding you that you are the king and need to act accordingly. My little boy, my beautiful blond little boy."

Fili let the tears come, there in his mother's arms. He couldn't keep emotion bottled up, though he had always been better at it than his brother. Kili had never been able to stay emotion, although it was usually expressed as anger. While Fili may have been the sun, shining and bright, Kili was the one to burn. Fili had always known, in some corner of his mind, that Kili's fight and anger would burn the dark haired dwarf out before his time, although he hadn't expected it to come this soon.

Fili, cried out, pushed Dis away gently. Dis, levering her son to a lying down position, covered him with his thick blanket. She kissed him on the forehead. "Sleep, Fili. It will help."


	6. Chapter 6

**So, yeah, it's short. But I was almost out of writing time. I will try to more next chapter. Thank you to my reviewers (winter's-lion, Emily01, Suheyla, and Cockapoo!)**

* * *

The next morning Fili was standing in front of the population of Erebor. "There was a tragedy last night," he announced. "Someone broke into Thorin and Kili's grave..."

There came a murmuring of sorrow among the assembled dwarves. Thorin, of course, had been loved, and everyone had adored big-eyed Kili. Even when he was driving them absolutely insane. Which was always.

"...and stole the Arkenstone," Fili finished.

The roar of outrage was instantaneous. The Arkenstone was the heart of the mountain. That someone had stolen it was enough to infuriate all the dwarves of Erebor. Now they not only had something to fight for-the deaths of their loved ones-but also against. They would fight against the thief trying to bring them down. The thief of the Arkenstone.

Fili shifted nervously from foot to foot. He had done his duty as king, telling the people of the incident, but he didn't know what to do next. He had never even faced a crisis of a smaller nature. He should not have to do this as a new king. The people were relying on him to lead them through this. And he wasn't even sure he could lead himself through it.


End file.
